DAY TO DAY LIFE
ACCOMODATIONS
AN OVERVIEW
FEES AND LIVING COST​
INDEX
​
Every year, hundreds of thousands of graduates apply for our prestigious colleges in England. Often, newly arriving students in our country aren't quite sure what to expect. As such, our utterly fictitious organisation has decided provide the lost little sheep with a comprehensive guide of what to expect upon arrival. In between sections we also provide you with a detailed guide of fantastic English universities. However, we kindly ask you to pardon the language as we don't have professional writers; the queen hasn't sent us money since 2020.
*For more information, check the summary and visit the citations.
AN OVERVIEW
2050 School Year Addition
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STUDENT
Guide
In Background: A reconstruction of Corpus Cristi College in Cambridge in 2016 (The riverbank flooded a few years back. On the bright side, punting has never been so profitable).
~ Photo by Diliff
Home to a wide sleuth of universities such as UCL and ICL, the city was once the financial centre of Europe. Unfortunately, the once-economic backbone of Europe also happens to be one of the largest swimming pools in the world, with the Thames flooding every rain. Our favourite pool is now a shadow of itself with many deciding to migrate elsewhere.
Guide:
LONDON
35m above sea level
In Background: A advertisement of Westminister from the 2000's. Nowadays, the submerged limestone is corroded and threatening to collapse. Poor sewage disposal also led to horrible stench across the Thames; students beware.
~ Photo by Mike Gielfarb
Now that you're in England, you might be wondering about accommodations. Well, there's absolutely no reason to fret, because apartment rent is at an all time low. Just keep in mind, though; upwards of 5000 people die of overheating in their houses a year, who's to say you won't be one of them? Even better, if you happen to be living near a coastal area, keep in mind that your property might get swept away by a casual cyclone or regular storms. Ever since the island has become a greenhouse, cold air from the sea has been bringing very irregular weather, so keep the possibility of dying in your own house a consideration as you consult an agent.
ACCOMODATIONS
As the oldest university in the English-speaking world, Oxford has been famous for churning out Nobel laureates and influential people. All this is well and good, except for the fact that the Thames regularly rises above the banks and poorly suited architecture often lead to hot indoor environments.
Guide:
OXFORD
61m above sea level
In Background: A view of the Bodleian library, as you can see, the humidity looms over the city like a dark cape over the city. To the right, humidity has also facilitated erosion of the architecture.
~ Photo by Zac Allen
About 30 years ago, the UK government capped university fees at £9,250 a year. Ever since then, fees have risen at least two-fold due to limited resources and increasing maintenance cost for universities. Not only that, there has been suggestions that fee limits be removed completely ever since politicians have stopped funding universities.
Speaking of politicians, our exit from the EU has also increased the cost to stay alive in the UK. In the past, we produced around 60% of our food, which was fantastic, that is, until around 85% of our arable land disappeared from soil erosion. Even better, since we aren't in the EU anymore, we are subjected to harsh import taxes meaning that most of our population cannot afford three meals per day. Walking down our streets, you might notice many closed shops and even less people, but worry not. For as long as you descend from some form of royalty and have an entire nation's wealth backing you, you will survive. If you don't, well...may the lord bless you.
FEES AND LIVING COSTS
After Oxford, Cambridge is the second oldest university in the English world. Once surrounded by drained swamps, climate change has reverted the campus to its original state. This of course, means that Cambridge is festering with disease and illnesses. Not only that, its educational standards are now sub-par due to high maintenance costs.
Guide:
CAMBRIDGE
6-24m above sea level
In Background: The Trinity College Court illustrates a major problem in the face of rising sea levels. The large grasslands and fields become a breeding ground for mosquitoes in the wet season, which for modern England happens nearly everyday.
~ Photo by Cmglee
After finding a royalty to fund your education, you might be wondering about daily life on campus. While life varies in different regions, if you arrived here with expectations of grandeur - you will be disappointed. Typically, you will find that the air reeks of mold and unpleasant humidity. This is because of the constant rain and rising sea level which created the perfect breeding ground for malaise and malady.
You might also realise in your studies that none of the classrooms have air conditioning. This is perfectly natural not because we want to save the environment but because none of the classrooms were equipped with conditioning units in the first place. You see, there never was a point for cooling in Europe, much less England, until now. Instead, you're just going to have to bare the casual 40 celsius... on a good day. Think of it as free exercising while you work.
DAY TO DAY LIFE
Practically the second capital of the UK, Edinburgh has some of oldest and best educational institutions like Edinburgh University. Because of its higher elevation, it has gained some immunity to the seas...at least for a couple more years that is.
Guide:
EDINBURGH
47m above sea level
In Background: The highlands of Scotland will eventually be the only pieces left of the UK when the entire ice cap melts. The Scots seem to be having it pretty good if they, like most mountainous regions of Europe, did not have immigrants flocking to them.
~ Photo by Saffron Blaze